Tracy Binette – “One Voice” (2009)
This was written today, March 23, 2009, by a good friend of mine. I wanted to share this because I’m sure there are many people out there who feel the same way. With this AIG fiasco and everything else going on, it seems like we are feeling more and more in this country, like we have no control over where America is heading. All the power seems to be in the hands of a few rich greedy people and we poor people are the ones who are getting screwed. It’s a frightening time we live in. Everywhere I turn, I hear about people who are feeling depressed and frightened and simply lost.
Let me know what you are thinking. We need to let our leaders know that we are no longer going to stand by and swallow the lies they keep handing us about companies like AIG and why they are REALLY in trouble. We need to all stand up and take back our country once and for all….
With all this financial crisis and worry in the world, that has been going on, it has led me to believe that my life is somewhat on hold. Being unemployed with no money and a truckload of problems, I often worry about, not only my country’s future, but mine as well. I was talking to a dear friend today, who has similar problems as me and it hit me: I’m not only afraid to die, I’m also afraid to live.
Let me clarify that: being down on my luck and penniless, I really don’t feel comfortable or if I even fit in with today’s society. I see people when I go out in public and wonder if they are trudging through similar problems or are they one of the lucky ones it does not affect in the least? I have always worked up until recently but this downtime has been a slow death for me.
Sometimes I cannot see the point in getting out of bed in the morning or going to bed at a reasonable hour the night before. I literally have to force myself to get up, shower and get dressed just to fill out countless job applications I will never hear back from. I spend most of my days on this computer, listening to music, talking with friends and of course, looking for work.
Getting let go from my last job has instilled a fear of failure in me I cannot describe. So the question I have been asking myself these past few months is: will I ever get ahead? Well, with all that is going on in our economy right now, it seems impossible. The jobs that do call back are never foolproof and end up costing you more out of pocket to work for, and of course don’t offer benefits.
I’m not writing this for pity or sympathy. I mean I think I’m writing this to save my own sanity as something therapeutic. I hear President Obama speak and it does give me hope and comfort for awhile but that doomed feeling lingers over me like a dark cloud.
I know its been said in hard times, “this too shall pass.” Believe me, I sometimes need to scrape the bottom of the barrel for reasons to even feel a little bit ambitious or excited about SOMETHING. Even though I’m not as bad off as some, I wonder about the future. I always pictured myself married with a house and a couple of kids by the time I hit 37. Of course, it didn’t play out like that for reasons I had no control over. But being afraid to live is nothing more than just being afraid to fail, and I always heard failure was success turned inside out. But honestly right now hearing that doesn’t bring me much comfort even if it IS true. They say even The Great Depression wasn’t this bad which in fact terrifies me because I remember all the miserable stories my father had told me about that time when he was growing up. The fact is, I’m not the only one who is afraid to live, we ALL are, at least us working class poor and unemployed. I mean what do we have to look forward to? A mountain of bills every month, not knowing when or how you’ll pay them? I have heard our leaders speak about having hope to build a better future, but my question is, what about now? What if by the time the future is here we’re all penniless and homeless?
I don’t mean to sound so glum but I feel I needed to write this to maybe give our President & our leaders a personal view. I don’t know if it will accomplish much but the only ones who are in our shoes is us, not them. I encourage all of America to speak out with personal stories of their hardships and fears, due to this recession. We are not just numbers tallied up by the Census Bureau. We are the ones getting kicked when we’re already down, hoping and praying for change. We are the ones who worry how we are going to feed our families, pay our rent and mortgages and our vehicles. We are the taxpayers who funded those greedy bastards at companies like AIG, with their blood money bonuses. The time to speak out is NOW! Who cares if you think no one will listen? I am listening and at least it will feel better to know we are not alone, we all have each other to pray with, laugh with and hopefully look into the brighter future with.
Tracy Binette
The Beat Patrol 
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